It has been a while. The demands of life and the constraints of time often serve to be highly efficient co-conspirators when it comes to preventing the upkeep of things such as this little blog.
Additionally, I began to try another format. I was using some open source tools to lay out what needed to get done in order to arrive at self sufficiency. That worked for a little while but I shelved this site for a while.
I also have struggled at times with living in two worlds. In one instance I am devoted to the Eastern Orthodox side of my life and strive to be content where I am and not reaching too far into the future. Battling the passions is a tough job and you don’t want to encourage too much that will work against you.
In the other instance I just hate where I live, hate what I do for a living, hate that my kids are going to grow up in the same consumerist mindset and I determine to make a change. I begin to plan and dream again and find a little life and then I start to think about what stands in my way. There are hills of debt to conquer, an income to replace, and a spouse and family to convince. This becomes discouraging in its own right and I convince myself I will never accomplish it before I’m an old man and then what’s the use.
So that has been the underpinnings of the life of this blog lately. The latter case encourages a little activity and posting again and the former case pulls me away from it.
So what does it all mean for the life of this poorly traversed blog? I don’t know. In the past year or so it has served more of a diary and a thinkpad for me more than anything else. I haven’t written here for traffic’s sake or anything like that, more so to just help me think. So in that respect I suppose it may still stick around. I have some other things in the works right now and I suppose I have to do some figuring and soul searching on what I need and/or want to do.
To be honest I have made little progress since I started this blog and that’s discouraging. Either I need to resign myself to buying books and videos and dreaming about what could have been or find some way to actually make progress. If I could leave the “world” and homestead now and be left alone with my family I would, but I can’t, and such is life.
I’ll post more later.